It's funny because this blog has become less about the game and more about me. I apologize for that. I'm adding a little more to the new content. I decided to go back and animate one of these for you guys.
I'm talking to a new girl. We're like two trains that collided with one another. Some would argue that trainwrecks can be beautiful. I need to read more philosophy.
Lately, I've been stepping into people's lives and observing them. Not everyone desires safety. Some would argue that safety is a prison. Ashley is a bright, haunting star in the sky. No matter where I sail, her star will forever chase me and shine down to me. The sky is a constant that we're all offered in solace. Not everyone chooses to sail.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
March 29th's Progress
I took a bit of a misstep. Having a Birthday + a new video game release + an extremely depressing moment = Birthday Week (Birthweek??). A Birthday Week is something that's really happy and depressing at the same time. That and I got addicted to drawception.com for awhile. So I drew something. It's not AD related. It's "artistic", which is weird because I haven't drawn anything artistic in the longest time. My goal is to take a real picture of this, that is, to make it a reality. I won't say what the picture is, because that's kind of embarrassing, but I'm excited about it.
No, it's not a picture of me bursting out of the letter O, with two wads of cash in both hands and wearing a top hat.
Back to work.
Got a text. Karaoke tonight. It's been two months. It was on B.U. Day 1. Best not to dwell on it. I need to look fahaaabulous tonight. Shave for once, because apparently it makes me look younger. (blinks rapidly) It shaves off a few years.
Got back from Karaoke.
I got drunk. Sobered up and drove home. I've got an aching headache. The night went a lot crazier then that, but I'm not at liberty to discuss it. I could pull one line from the night though.
"You can whack off to this if you want", he offered.
"No thanks, the other one was somewhat arousing but not this one," I replied.
No, it's not a picture of me bursting out of the letter O, with two wads of cash in both hands and wearing a top hat.
Back to work.
Got a text. Karaoke tonight. It's been two months. It was on B.U. Day 1. Best not to dwell on it. I need to look fahaaabulous tonight. Shave for once, because apparently it makes me look younger. (blinks rapidly) It shaves off a few years.
Got back from Karaoke.
I got drunk. Sobered up and drove home. I've got an aching headache. The night went a lot crazier then that, but I'm not at liberty to discuss it. I could pull one line from the night though.
"You can whack off to this if you want", he offered.
"No thanks, the other one was somewhat arousing but not this one," I replied.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Happy Birthday Me
Well I've got all these bottled up feelings, and I need to get them out.
Happy Birthday Me. I'm 25. 33% of Life Completed.
"What's this? We don't pay you to think. We pay you to draw porn." Ahh yes. About that, it's not done. I'm considering drinking. Alone.
Well, what do I want? Do I want my ex to come crashing in here to say she's sorry, and to give me my birthday blowjob? Well, partially no. I don't want her back, but the whole oral sex thing is quite missed. I don't want her back, but I don't want her to read that I don't want her back. Ashley, if you're reading this, I need some damn time. A long time.
I remember last year I was begging her to stay. Don't stay. In a way I wish you would have left sooner. Living another year of bliss with you was great. But now I'm back to square one again...and better for it. In a way I respect your decision to cheat on me. Life wasn't getting better for either of us, and you took a preemptive action. Who cares about the guy you were spending your life with before? Don't worry about him, he'll be fine.
I've got a game to make and I'm excited about it. I'm going to finish that, and then I'm going to feel accomplished enough to look for a woman. See? That's me telling myself everything's great again. I have constantly written it down in many different ways. Sometimes I need the abridged version. Other times it's going right here.
If Ashley thinks she can find someone better than me... Well, shit. I can do it too. There really is billions of girls left.
I was reading Men's Journal today, because I get that magazine for some reason. There's an article about this guy that at the age of 30, QUIT his job to start playing golf professionally. He wants to get into the PGA Tour. "Becoming a world class expert in any field, from software design to concert violin, requires 10,000 hours of practice. Usually that means 10 years of hard work or deliberate practice..."
The article really touches me. You can change your life whenever you want. You can kill yourself, you can drive to hollywood and become an actor, or you can try to become a pro golfer. Society gives us the groundwork. Steady job, steady marriage, steady steady. But we can break this illusion anytime we want to pursue what we want.
He says "I wanted a challenge that was nearly impossible, but theoretically possible, so Golf."
I've made my decision already. Gonna work hard on this game, and next year I'll be out and about riding across America. Crazy shit. I want to go Urban Exploring. It's where you break into abandoned buildings and take pictures. Sometimes people find Meth Labs and get KILLED. And then I want to ride a motorcycle.
Okay. I'm going to 7-Eleven to get some Birthday Snacks.
Happy Birthday Me. I'm 25. 33% of Life Completed.
"What's this? We don't pay you to think. We pay you to draw porn." Ahh yes. About that, it's not done. I'm considering drinking. Alone.
Well, what do I want? Do I want my ex to come crashing in here to say she's sorry, and to give me my birthday blowjob? Well, partially no. I don't want her back, but the whole oral sex thing is quite missed. I don't want her back, but I don't want her to read that I don't want her back. Ashley, if you're reading this, I need some damn time. A long time.
I remember last year I was begging her to stay. Don't stay. In a way I wish you would have left sooner. Living another year of bliss with you was great. But now I'm back to square one again...and better for it. In a way I respect your decision to cheat on me. Life wasn't getting better for either of us, and you took a preemptive action. Who cares about the guy you were spending your life with before? Don't worry about him, he'll be fine.
I've got a game to make and I'm excited about it. I'm going to finish that, and then I'm going to feel accomplished enough to look for a woman. See? That's me telling myself everything's great again. I have constantly written it down in many different ways. Sometimes I need the abridged version. Other times it's going right here.
If Ashley thinks she can find someone better than me... Well, shit. I can do it too. There really is billions of girls left.
I was reading Men's Journal today, because I get that magazine for some reason. There's an article about this guy that at the age of 30, QUIT his job to start playing golf professionally. He wants to get into the PGA Tour. "Becoming a world class expert in any field, from software design to concert violin, requires 10,000 hours of practice. Usually that means 10 years of hard work or deliberate practice..."
The article really touches me. You can change your life whenever you want. You can kill yourself, you can drive to hollywood and become an actor, or you can try to become a pro golfer. Society gives us the groundwork. Steady job, steady marriage, steady steady. But we can break this illusion anytime we want to pursue what we want.
He says "I wanted a challenge that was nearly impossible, but theoretically possible, so Golf."
I've made my decision already. Gonna work hard on this game, and next year I'll be out and about riding across America. Crazy shit. I want to go Urban Exploring. It's where you break into abandoned buildings and take pictures. Sometimes people find Meth Labs and get KILLED. And then I want to ride a motorcycle.
Okay. I'm going to 7-Eleven to get some Birthday Snacks.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
March 12th's Progress
Still working. One thing has been in the back of my head and I just have to write it.
I am considering a Hentai-less version of Aching Dreams 3. I guess it would be called Non-Adult Aching Dreams 3. Eugh. I am having a tough time naming it.
Why have a sexless AD3? Money. The simple fact is that Aching Dreams itself is becoming harder and harder to find on google. Newgrounds has obscured its adult section. A sexless AD3 would boost traffic because many flash portals do not allow adult games. If we want to continue to make games, we have to adapt. What we COULD do instead is release games more periodically, and basically make AD2 clones except in different themes, but I would rather make an epic game that's much better than 2. Simply put, the way AD3 is designed, it's a risky endeavor because it's larger, it'll be more expensive to buy ($15), and I get paid less since there's a programmer on board, but I'd rather have it this way because I want to work on a game that I like.
What would be the difference between sexless AD3 and sexfull AD3? Cut, not replace. Sex is somewhat integral to AD2's experience. Jeanne's last mission almost entirely involves sex, and different parts of missions allow you to choose to have sex. These parts would simply be cut out and replaced with a small summary.
"You enter the Black Bunny. You locate Selene and realize she is sleeping with her boss. You take her for questioning outside of the establishment."
That's all. We're not governed by the ESRB, so the censorship will be very lax. No nudity, and the actual sex scenes would be skipped. No stories would change because of the fact. Beatrice's story is completely devoid of hentai, in fact. It's just the way we create stories here, and it CAN BE compatible with a mainstream audience.
How would it work?
We'd have a sexless version given to mainstream sites, and a sex version available on the select sites that do show adult games. This sex version will also have a simple switch that allows you to turn on and off the sex when you're in "town". This toggle would be very simple to include.
The more I am considering this, the more it makes sense.
I am considering a Hentai-less version of Aching Dreams 3. I guess it would be called Non-Adult Aching Dreams 3. Eugh. I am having a tough time naming it.
Why have a sexless AD3? Money. The simple fact is that Aching Dreams itself is becoming harder and harder to find on google. Newgrounds has obscured its adult section. A sexless AD3 would boost traffic because many flash portals do not allow adult games. If we want to continue to make games, we have to adapt. What we COULD do instead is release games more periodically, and basically make AD2 clones except in different themes, but I would rather make an epic game that's much better than 2. Simply put, the way AD3 is designed, it's a risky endeavor because it's larger, it'll be more expensive to buy ($15), and I get paid less since there's a programmer on board, but I'd rather have it this way because I want to work on a game that I like.
What would be the difference between sexless AD3 and sexfull AD3? Cut, not replace. Sex is somewhat integral to AD2's experience. Jeanne's last mission almost entirely involves sex, and different parts of missions allow you to choose to have sex. These parts would simply be cut out and replaced with a small summary.
"You enter the Black Bunny. You locate Selene and realize she is sleeping with her boss. You take her for questioning outside of the establishment."
That's all. We're not governed by the ESRB, so the censorship will be very lax. No nudity, and the actual sex scenes would be skipped. No stories would change because of the fact. Beatrice's story is completely devoid of hentai, in fact. It's just the way we create stories here, and it CAN BE compatible with a mainstream audience.
How would it work?
We'd have a sexless version given to mainstream sites, and a sex version available on the select sites that do show adult games. This sex version will also have a simple switch that allows you to turn on and off the sex when you're in "town". This toggle would be very simple to include.
The more I am considering this, the more it makes sense.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
March 10th's Progress
1:30-2:00 Yesterday, my friend took me out to a bar for some New Divisions and Interpol music. No, they were not actually there. There was one time I went out with this man and I talked to a woman who was fairly unattractive. He criticized my selection in women. "C'mon, you can do better??" I felt embarrassed last time, but this time in the car I told him differently.
I told him that even though I make the main focus of my games to be beautiful women, in real life I actually prefer mind over body. The lowest number I would date would be a 3 out of 10. This baffled him. At such low numbers, what would even be the point of courting a woman? "Girlfriends are similar to friends, except you are attracted to them." To this, I somewhat agree. I can feel attracted to a woman's mind. I can also feel a loving connection to a woman, like kissing, and I cannot have this with a male. It is hard to describe in today's society without looking desperate, but I am simply not discriminating.
So we're at the bar. We sit at the booth next to two lovely ladies. Perhaps in my friend's mind there is only one lovely lady. He is...unlucky at love. Sure, I might feel at times miserable about not being in a relationship, but the last relationship he had was back in high school. He is talking to me only. I am *trying* to make eye contact with our lovely neighbors but it is difficult. Their eyes escape me. I know he wants the beautiful gazelle. It's time to be a wingman. So up from the seat I go, and walk over there and talk to the uglier one. It's exhilarating. It's like jumping. You've already committed and now you have to land. For some guys, this act is second nature.
My way of breaking the ice is direct. I simply walk up and say "Good evening ladies. I am Michael. And you are?". There be many a webpage on what to do to break the ice. There has to be some sort of circumstance or you can compliment something she's wearing or have some sort of pickup line. I do not want to mislead a woman. My way of breaking the ice is to politely and directly inform them that I am interested in having a conversation with them.
She is a graphic designer. Wasn't terribly interesting with no hobbies to speak of. No interest in my part. Her friend and my friend however, were chatting it up. So good for him. He thanked me afterwards, and I told him that I will forever be his loyal wingman.
And so the night went on. He got the cold shoulder from that woman eventually, which really broke his heart because they shared such similar interests. I talked to an asian woman, but it turns out she was waiting for a guy (and he did show, lol). I talked to another woman, but I think her friend was so displeased at my friend that her friend shooed themselves from us. Her friend was certainly uncomfortable after my friend said "Hey...I've said hi to you like 5 times and I guess you didn't hear me". Indeed.
Overall I feel that going to a bar or a show is like an adventure. The end goal is not necessarily sex. Making new platonic friends is great, but not required (yet rare, most of the people that go out usually have no interests of any kind). Going to those places allows me to mix in with new people that are more or less welcome to be spoken to. Have a good conversation or just enjoy a drink.
Conventions are where it's at. At a bar, you can ask a girl- "What do you like to do?" and the typical answers you get are "Um. This. I work too." (that's a serious answer I've received). At a convention, you'll get "I like video games/anime/reading, hobby x, something you've never heard of". It's just that conventions are really expensive to go to.
The date for the DLC for AD2 draws near. It is ,as the community calls , it "crunch time". I will be working from now on. No play. No exercise. Eat, Work, Sleep, until this thing is finished.
Have you played Bonetown or Bonecraft?
No, but I have done research on bonetown without having played it.
The look of the women are no good, in my opinion. It's an interesting matter and its own subject because taste is relative to one's own taste, yet there is also an unquantifiable average of mainstream taste that every artist must be aware of.
While one can appreciate a specific style or fetish, it is the artist's responsibility to make sure that he is stretching his artistic ability to encompass a large audience by listening to his peers or even the peers that do not speak.
It is an ongoing debate with our Aching Dreamers "oh they should have big breasts like in 2", but there's multiple factors when it comes to something as simple as breast size.
It seems to me that the artist of bonetown does not try to mix it up. I feel that their whole team looks at the art, and they say "it's good", without really honestly being able to say "it's hot". A programmer on their team would not be able to vocally say "dude these chicks look ugly", because of his position and lack of experience as an artist.
A good example of this would be Jill Valentine from Resident Evil Revelations. When her first version came out, the public universally agreed that she visually looked very ugly. Think about that. A character's face was generally agreed upon by the whole game team to be game worthy, and it took the whole fan community to convince them that she was actually ugly! Capcom went back and did change her face eventually.
I've had people tell me my girls are ugly. What does it mean? Does it mean that those people have a specific fetish? Do they like underage girls? Is it because the breasts are really too large for them??
Back to bonetown. It is MY PERSONAL opinion, that the ladies in bonetown are ugly. I also think that lolicon is unattractive as well, but the entire country of Japan disagrees with me.
Other then that I have little to say about Bonetown. I hate drugs, but Bonetown likes drugs, so not my cup of tea there. I think it's really weird that they emphasize violence but emphasize not killing people. I just hope the next time I hit you over the head with a monkey wrench that it doesn't kill you.
I told him that even though I make the main focus of my games to be beautiful women, in real life I actually prefer mind over body. The lowest number I would date would be a 3 out of 10. This baffled him. At such low numbers, what would even be the point of courting a woman? "Girlfriends are similar to friends, except you are attracted to them." To this, I somewhat agree. I can feel attracted to a woman's mind. I can also feel a loving connection to a woman, like kissing, and I cannot have this with a male. It is hard to describe in today's society without looking desperate, but I am simply not discriminating.
So we're at the bar. We sit at the booth next to two lovely ladies. Perhaps in my friend's mind there is only one lovely lady. He is...unlucky at love. Sure, I might feel at times miserable about not being in a relationship, but the last relationship he had was back in high school. He is talking to me only. I am *trying* to make eye contact with our lovely neighbors but it is difficult. Their eyes escape me. I know he wants the beautiful gazelle. It's time to be a wingman. So up from the seat I go, and walk over there and talk to the uglier one. It's exhilarating. It's like jumping. You've already committed and now you have to land. For some guys, this act is second nature.
My way of breaking the ice is direct. I simply walk up and say "Good evening ladies. I am Michael. And you are?". There be many a webpage on what to do to break the ice. There has to be some sort of circumstance or you can compliment something she's wearing or have some sort of pickup line. I do not want to mislead a woman. My way of breaking the ice is to politely and directly inform them that I am interested in having a conversation with them.
She is a graphic designer. Wasn't terribly interesting with no hobbies to speak of. No interest in my part. Her friend and my friend however, were chatting it up. So good for him. He thanked me afterwards, and I told him that I will forever be his loyal wingman.
And so the night went on. He got the cold shoulder from that woman eventually, which really broke his heart because they shared such similar interests. I talked to an asian woman, but it turns out she was waiting for a guy (and he did show, lol). I talked to another woman, but I think her friend was so displeased at my friend that her friend shooed themselves from us. Her friend was certainly uncomfortable after my friend said "Hey...I've said hi to you like 5 times and I guess you didn't hear me". Indeed.
Overall I feel that going to a bar or a show is like an adventure. The end goal is not necessarily sex. Making new platonic friends is great, but not required (yet rare, most of the people that go out usually have no interests of any kind). Going to those places allows me to mix in with new people that are more or less welcome to be spoken to. Have a good conversation or just enjoy a drink.
Conventions are where it's at. At a bar, you can ask a girl- "What do you like to do?" and the typical answers you get are "Um. This. I work too." (that's a serious answer I've received). At a convention, you'll get "I like video games/anime/reading, hobby x, something you've never heard of". It's just that conventions are really expensive to go to.
The date for the DLC for AD2 draws near. It is ,as the community calls , it "crunch time". I will be working from now on. No play. No exercise. Eat, Work, Sleep, until this thing is finished.
Have you played Bonetown or Bonecraft?
No, but I have done research on bonetown without having played it.
The look of the women are no good, in my opinion. It's an interesting matter and its own subject because taste is relative to one's own taste, yet there is also an unquantifiable average of mainstream taste that every artist must be aware of.
While one can appreciate a specific style or fetish, it is the artist's responsibility to make sure that he is stretching his artistic ability to encompass a large audience by listening to his peers or even the peers that do not speak.
It is an ongoing debate with our Aching Dreamers "oh they should have big breasts like in 2", but there's multiple factors when it comes to something as simple as breast size.
It seems to me that the artist of bonetown does not try to mix it up. I feel that their whole team looks at the art, and they say "it's good", without really honestly being able to say "it's hot". A programmer on their team would not be able to vocally say "dude these chicks look ugly", because of his position and lack of experience as an artist.
A good example of this would be Jill Valentine from Resident Evil Revelations. When her first version came out, the public universally agreed that she visually looked very ugly. Think about that. A character's face was generally agreed upon by the whole game team to be game worthy, and it took the whole fan community to convince them that she was actually ugly! Capcom went back and did change her face eventually.
I've had people tell me my girls are ugly. What does it mean? Does it mean that those people have a specific fetish? Do they like underage girls? Is it because the breasts are really too large for them??
Back to bonetown. It is MY PERSONAL opinion, that the ladies in bonetown are ugly. I also think that lolicon is unattractive as well, but the entire country of Japan disagrees with me.
Other then that I have little to say about Bonetown. I hate drugs, but Bonetown likes drugs, so not my cup of tea there. I think it's really weird that they emphasize violence but emphasize not killing people. I just hope the next time I hit you over the head with a monkey wrench that it doesn't kill you.
Friday, March 9, 2012
March 9th's progress
12:30 to 5- I exercised (one hour), ate(30m), showered(30m), internetted (2 hours), and that does literally take 4 and a half hours. It doesn't help that I'm a habitual masturbator. Last night a friend wanted to hang out with me, so I was very eager to have him. I know I need to talk to real people more. It's a setback on the schedule, but it's required.
Today's link to share-
Girl Fight Video Game, GDC 2012: Gameplay Walkthrough HD | Video Clip | Game Trailers & Videos | GameTrailers.com
Another game for the girl versus genre. (Rumble Roses, Skullgirls, Melty Blood, there's some rapey games I'm not going to mention. They know who they are.)
The story is very simple: Women, and only some women (sexy ones) have psionic powers so they need to train them virtually to test their powers. Since it's virtual, it's very possible that they're all fat and ugly in real life, it's just that this is what they choose to wear in their virtual state. Nevermind the fact that they're not throwing hadoukens or using their psionic powers to more practical uses, like shooting GUNS or whatever you want to apply it to.
Not to worry, AD3 has a much more elegant solution. The men were at a bachelor party and they died. AD2 has all the men gone and away at war, while AD1 has no excuse. AD1 in fact has a ratio of 6 men to 6 women, so it works out in the end. The dog in AD1 never had a sex.
Today's link to share-
Girl Fight Video Game, GDC 2012: Gameplay Walkthrough HD | Video Clip | Game Trailers & Videos | GameTrailers.com
Another game for the girl versus genre. (Rumble Roses, Skullgirls, Melty Blood, there's some rapey games I'm not going to mention. They know who they are.)
The story is very simple: Women, and only some women (sexy ones) have psionic powers so they need to train them virtually to test their powers. Since it's virtual, it's very possible that they're all fat and ugly in real life, it's just that this is what they choose to wear in their virtual state. Nevermind the fact that they're not throwing hadoukens or using their psionic powers to more practical uses, like shooting GUNS or whatever you want to apply it to.
Not to worry, AD3 has a much more elegant solution. The men were at a bachelor party and they died. AD2 has all the men gone and away at war, while AD1 has no excuse. AD1 in fact has a ratio of 6 men to 6 women, so it works out in the end. The dog in AD1 never had a sex.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
March 8th's Progress
12:30 I wake up depressed. You can't escape your dreams. They stick you in the chair and peel back your eyelids and make you watch these things called dreams. I see her in the dream. I ask What If? What if I did it like this? How could I have prolonged a broken relationship?
Denial. I'm against my own subconscious, fighting to be independent. It's almost two months now, and I've been saying all along that I'm past it. I try to justify it because I say that while I miss a relationship, I don't miss her. Is that denial?
No exercise today. It's straight to work. I was working quite well yesterday, but I got sidetracked working on the wrong game.
Here's a good hentai game if I ever saw one:
http://kotaku.com/5891692/move-carefully-or-get-caught-in-the-act
And no it's not actually a hentai game. BUT IF IT WAS.
6PM- In art, essentialism is the idea that each medium has its own particular strengths and weaknesses, contingent on its mode of communication. A chase scene, for example, may be appropriate for motion pictures, but poorly realized in poetry, because the essential components of the poetic medium are ill suited to convey the information of a chase scene.
What I find important here is that both porn and video games are emerging as art forms.
Is porn art?
Is hentai art?
Why does it fucking matter?
Let me get this one out of the way first. Porn and Hentai can be art as long as they provide something that falls outside our need to have sex. An apple is not art when you are eating it, but as soon as you frame it, it's art because even simply looking at an apple behind an art frame has meaning. When you look at porn, you are not looking at it through an art frame. You are simply digesting it. Hentai to me, is the same way. There is no difference between two pornstars banging it out and me drawing two pornstars banging it out. If I created it with the intent of simply digesting it, it is no longer art. This extends to computer games as well. Clicking things to make them die can be defined as a secondary, basic need. The need to cleanse the area of predators and protect our families. The moment you add commentary, you have art. "I need to eat pizza. I need to kill virtual things. But wait, I need to introspect about killing things now."
Aching Dreams is a pornographic computer game. It sets itself apart from other porn games seen on newgrounds by not feeding the player his porn instantaneously. Why does it feel better when it's rewarded? Is it because the game is rooted into courting women, as it is a "dating simulation"? What if the journey was different? What if we had to play Tetris in order to have sex? That's not as engaging as playing Tetris AGAINST these women, or fighting alongside them against aliens.
Yet there is a deeply rooted urge within me- the need to have a pornographic computer game accepted on a mainstream level. Realistically I know that this goal will probably never be fulfilled with the taboos that surround pornography.
Back to the issue. What is the point of having an ISS Electric Pistol in AD3? Is it more akin to playing Tetris to win a woman, and not actually courting the woman? Should pornographic computer games ONLY be about courting and rewarding successful courting with sex?
I have my answer. Providing a believable world is required in order to create believable fictional characters to fall in love with. An ISS Electric Pistol is ESSENTIAL in order to court a woman, in this case. Type "naked woman" in google images. That woman is not believable. You do not know who she is. Your penis might react, but your brain disagrees. She is unattainable to you. Jeanne the Detective might be an imaginary character, but she is imaginably attainable at least.
Imagine a WOW player playing in his mom's basement. I present him with two women to have sex with. Behind Door #1, we have a female golf player. She is the twin sister of the girl behind door #2, a female WOW player. Weight jokes aside, the boy chooses #2 because he imagines what he can relate to with her. He imaginarily courts her within his mind. "What class does she play? How much DPS does she deal?" Why is he more attracted to this woman he can relate to? Then behind door #3, I give him a female warrior. He'd choose #3, because....why?! Because she'd smack him across the face with the butt of her sword and he'd ENJOY that?! He wants #3 because she is part of an imaginary world where a character much more fantastic than life can exist.
I am writing too much.
Denial. I'm against my own subconscious, fighting to be independent. It's almost two months now, and I've been saying all along that I'm past it. I try to justify it because I say that while I miss a relationship, I don't miss her. Is that denial?
No exercise today. It's straight to work. I was working quite well yesterday, but I got sidetracked working on the wrong game.
Here's a good hentai game if I ever saw one:
http://kotaku.com/5891692/move-carefully-or-get-caught-in-the-act
And no it's not actually a hentai game. BUT IF IT WAS.
6PM- In art, essentialism is the idea that each medium has its own particular strengths and weaknesses, contingent on its mode of communication. A chase scene, for example, may be appropriate for motion pictures, but poorly realized in poetry, because the essential components of the poetic medium are ill suited to convey the information of a chase scene.
What I find important here is that both porn and video games are emerging as art forms.
Is porn art?
Is hentai art?
Why does it fucking matter?
Let me get this one out of the way first. Porn and Hentai can be art as long as they provide something that falls outside our need to have sex. An apple is not art when you are eating it, but as soon as you frame it, it's art because even simply looking at an apple behind an art frame has meaning. When you look at porn, you are not looking at it through an art frame. You are simply digesting it. Hentai to me, is the same way. There is no difference between two pornstars banging it out and me drawing two pornstars banging it out. If I created it with the intent of simply digesting it, it is no longer art. This extends to computer games as well. Clicking things to make them die can be defined as a secondary, basic need. The need to cleanse the area of predators and protect our families. The moment you add commentary, you have art. "I need to eat pizza. I need to kill virtual things. But wait, I need to introspect about killing things now."
Aching Dreams is a pornographic computer game. It sets itself apart from other porn games seen on newgrounds by not feeding the player his porn instantaneously. Why does it feel better when it's rewarded? Is it because the game is rooted into courting women, as it is a "dating simulation"? What if the journey was different? What if we had to play Tetris in order to have sex? That's not as engaging as playing Tetris AGAINST these women, or fighting alongside them against aliens.
Yet there is a deeply rooted urge within me- the need to have a pornographic computer game accepted on a mainstream level. Realistically I know that this goal will probably never be fulfilled with the taboos that surround pornography.
Back to the issue. What is the point of having an ISS Electric Pistol in AD3? Is it more akin to playing Tetris to win a woman, and not actually courting the woman? Should pornographic computer games ONLY be about courting and rewarding successful courting with sex?
I have my answer. Providing a believable world is required in order to create believable fictional characters to fall in love with. An ISS Electric Pistol is ESSENTIAL in order to court a woman, in this case. Type "naked woman" in google images. That woman is not believable. You do not know who she is. Your penis might react, but your brain disagrees. She is unattainable to you. Jeanne the Detective might be an imaginary character, but she is imaginably attainable at least.
Imagine a WOW player playing in his mom's basement. I present him with two women to have sex with. Behind Door #1, we have a female golf player. She is the twin sister of the girl behind door #2, a female WOW player. Weight jokes aside, the boy chooses #2 because he imagines what he can relate to with her. He imaginarily courts her within his mind. "What class does she play? How much DPS does she deal?" Why is he more attracted to this woman he can relate to? Then behind door #3, I give him a female warrior. He'd choose #3, because....why?! Because she'd smack him across the face with the butt of her sword and he'd ENJOY that?! He wants #3 because she is part of an imaginary world where a character much more fantastic than life can exist.
I am writing too much.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
March 7th's Progress
1:30 to 4:30- Restless night. I had a dream that I woke up at 3:30. I ran. That one girl I said hi to yesterday, her car wasn't parked, so I realized I wasn't going to see her today. I was really hungry when I got back so I ate and skipped the rest of my exercises. I got a few new ideas for my story along the run. They're just ideas though. Ate my mom's cooking. She put a suspicious looking meat morsel in there. I did not eat it. I bought some candy from Sam the Ice Cream man. "Hey, have you ever heard of that kid that choked on a choco taco and died?", I'd ask him. He said no and laughed about it. He's getting old. Too old to drive around. He's still driving but he's getting close to the end of the road. I'm buying more from him. I use to buy from him daily when I was single. Now I'm single again. Being single makes me want ice cream. I use to run when I was single too. I guess being single makes me want to improve myself. Back to work.
4:30-5- Maybe it's time to be a recluse. I mean it's basically how I've been living the past few weeks. I have to pay my car insurance bill soon. I realize if I don't pay it, I'm basically shutting myself off from the world. Let's look at the pros and cons.
Pros-
-Saves a lot of money, about $600.
-Fully concentrate on work.
-I barely ever go anywhere anyway since I work entirely at home.
-Friends will still come over once a week.
Cons-
-No going to conventions and meeting people. (these actually cost a lot more money due to hotels/sleeping in the car or gas)
-No dates. Not even bad dates.
-Groceries are harder to pick up (just ask mom to drive me)
-Nothing to look forward to other than the completion of the game.
I don't know. Maybe I need this. I know I need more time to think about it. Throwing away insurance is like locking myself up in a cell.
8- I am watching Inglorious Bastards and working on Carmen. I'm really hungry, and that's probably because I've been exercising so much. I don't have any food around the house though. Gonna go out and get stuff. I need to improve myself. No more stupid dates. Why would I want a woman to date me, if I wouldn't even want to date myself? I want to become a knowledgeable, experienced, accomplished, and independent man. Knowledge and Accomplishment is this year's goal. Locking myself in a room for a year can be a very healthy thing, depending on the point of view. Some people do it to play WOW. I'm doing it to get my life back on track.
Time to get some gross eyries.
8-10: Grreeeat. Unplugged my computer with my toes. Yes. I'm sitting comfortably with my toes outstretched and hitting the wall, and the damn little digits decide to unplug my computer's power strip. There goes a few hours down the drain. Okay, I do hit save regularly, but this time apparently I didn't, and I hate autosave and I hate myself.
10-12: I'm getting sidetracked here. I thought that I could work on the story for AD3 and the art for ad2 at the same time, because... well... the art is easy to do. The story for AD3 is very involving though!
There's a theme of leadership in the game, because you are the Captain. You're having to make choices that don't really affect the game but instead affect how characters feel about you. For instance, if there was a victim that needed intense medical care, but it was unrealistic to expect him to recover, would you
A)Keep him alive at all costs, including our resources, in the hopes that we find equipment
B)Kill him yourself and end his suffering
C)Keep him alive, but not at all costs
Different characters have varied opinions on how they want you to answer this, so while it might feel like a big deal, honestly it's just +5 or -5 points from each character's affection level when you select a choice.
This is different from AD2 in two ways- The first one is easy to see, that decisions affect the crew instead of single characters. The second impact is that affection levels actually carry throughout the game instead of on a per mission basis. Yep, in AD2, Carmen does not care at all what you did in Mission 1, as long as you got to Mission 2.
12:40- Hmm.. How do we get more hits for AD2... I'm trying to get hentai websites to take my game and it's a lot harder than you'd think. Just straight up emailing them and they don't really care (or speak english).
Popping a google search for hentai flash games will get you that one gamesofdesire website. There's a very small number of hentai flash game sites I'll respect. Actually I think the only one I can respect is newgrounds. All of their hentai content is user made content (or tries to be). All these other websites are simply stealing other people's work and putting it on their sites for profit. Gamesofdesire takes it to another step by ripping from real artists in Japan and making games out of them. For profit.
So the problem is that AD2's not making enough money as I want it to. We can deal with this by either having websites pick it up, or... making my own hentai flash game portal. Eugh. But then the only purpose of that would be to make profit. Sure, I can turn hentaicook.com into a super sleazy site with tons of games that I took from people, and that way I'd get a lot of hits and finally show up on google. I'd even run it differently by having no ads. But that's work I don't want to be devoting my time to. Or maybe I could make a flash portal site where only user submitted content would be used!...eugh...no... I'm practically the only guy who does it without ripping material anyway...
The lesson is: Google is a bitch.
4:30-5- Maybe it's time to be a recluse. I mean it's basically how I've been living the past few weeks. I have to pay my car insurance bill soon. I realize if I don't pay it, I'm basically shutting myself off from the world. Let's look at the pros and cons.
Pros-
-Saves a lot of money, about $600.
-Fully concentrate on work.
-I barely ever go anywhere anyway since I work entirely at home.
-Friends will still come over once a week.
Cons-
-No going to conventions and meeting people. (these actually cost a lot more money due to hotels/sleeping in the car or gas)
-No dates. Not even bad dates.
-Groceries are harder to pick up (just ask mom to drive me)
-Nothing to look forward to other than the completion of the game.
I don't know. Maybe I need this. I know I need more time to think about it. Throwing away insurance is like locking myself up in a cell.
8- I am watching Inglorious Bastards and working on Carmen. I'm really hungry, and that's probably because I've been exercising so much. I don't have any food around the house though. Gonna go out and get stuff. I need to improve myself. No more stupid dates. Why would I want a woman to date me, if I wouldn't even want to date myself? I want to become a knowledgeable, experienced, accomplished, and independent man. Knowledge and Accomplishment is this year's goal. Locking myself in a room for a year can be a very healthy thing, depending on the point of view. Some people do it to play WOW. I'm doing it to get my life back on track.
Time to get some gross eyries.
8-10: Grreeeat. Unplugged my computer with my toes. Yes. I'm sitting comfortably with my toes outstretched and hitting the wall, and the damn little digits decide to unplug my computer's power strip. There goes a few hours down the drain. Okay, I do hit save regularly, but this time apparently I didn't, and I hate autosave and I hate myself.
10-12: I'm getting sidetracked here. I thought that I could work on the story for AD3 and the art for ad2 at the same time, because... well... the art is easy to do. The story for AD3 is very involving though!
There's a theme of leadership in the game, because you are the Captain. You're having to make choices that don't really affect the game but instead affect how characters feel about you. For instance, if there was a victim that needed intense medical care, but it was unrealistic to expect him to recover, would you
A)Keep him alive at all costs, including our resources, in the hopes that we find equipment
B)Kill him yourself and end his suffering
C)Keep him alive, but not at all costs
Different characters have varied opinions on how they want you to answer this, so while it might feel like a big deal, honestly it's just +5 or -5 points from each character's affection level when you select a choice.
This is different from AD2 in two ways- The first one is easy to see, that decisions affect the crew instead of single characters. The second impact is that affection levels actually carry throughout the game instead of on a per mission basis. Yep, in AD2, Carmen does not care at all what you did in Mission 1, as long as you got to Mission 2.
12:40- Hmm.. How do we get more hits for AD2... I'm trying to get hentai websites to take my game and it's a lot harder than you'd think. Just straight up emailing them and they don't really care (or speak english).
Popping a google search for hentai flash games will get you that one gamesofdesire website. There's a very small number of hentai flash game sites I'll respect. Actually I think the only one I can respect is newgrounds. All of their hentai content is user made content (or tries to be). All these other websites are simply stealing other people's work and putting it on their sites for profit. Gamesofdesire takes it to another step by ripping from real artists in Japan and making games out of them. For profit.
So the problem is that AD2's not making enough money as I want it to. We can deal with this by either having websites pick it up, or... making my own hentai flash game portal. Eugh. But then the only purpose of that would be to make profit. Sure, I can turn hentaicook.com into a super sleazy site with tons of games that I took from people, and that way I'd get a lot of hits and finally show up on google. I'd even run it differently by having no ads. But that's work I don't want to be devoting my time to. Or maybe I could make a flash portal site where only user submitted content would be used!...eugh...no... I'm practically the only guy who does it without ripping material anyway...
The lesson is: Google is a bitch.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
March 6th's Progress
I have an important announcement to make.
Mass Effect 3 and Street Fighter X Tekken are now released.
I will not be playing these games.
12:30-2: Talked to some people online, did my "online" routine. My female dungeons and dragons player's mom has health issues, so she's not playing my game anymore. While the Dungeon Master (me) makes the backbone of the game, you could say she's the front bone. She was the party face, and the penis of the group. She is undeniably attractive to me, but a relationship would not work out for either of us. Apparently I just admitted that I'm attracted to penises.
Now we've got 3 players + 1 that doesn't show up, and all of them do not have a clue of what to do in level 12. Some of you guys are like "well it can't be that hard right?"... It's actually a lot harder than most of your computer rpgs. At least in CRPGs, you can click something and hope it'll work. In D&D, at level 12, you have to have a very firm grasp of what you're doing so that the game doesn't stall. Without her...it's gonna stall.
2-2:35- I ran. I met three people on today's run. Old asian lady sweeping. Mexican guy making a round dropping off flyers. Does he look suspicious? Yes, at first glance. I mean he's walking up to people's houses. He's got a little sack. What if he had a gun in there? He's 5'6", heavy set but not fat, 175 lbs, mustache, wearing brown shirt, gray pants, brown cap backwards, eyes are slightly farther than normal. He's carrying slightly oversized business cards. What if he's just using it to get close to your house and check how unguarded it is? Any dogs? And just what is a good time to rob you, ma'am?... Or he's just a man trying to get on with his landscaping business. People hate you when you're poor.
Last lap. Met a white girl! YES. MET. Our eyes met. I was the black stallion galloping against the cold wind to her homestead. She was entering her wagon, unable to hide the furtive smile while she viewed the toned muscles that made the trotting beats against the clear pavement.
"Afternoon", the Black Stallion neighed.
"Hello", she replied and smiled.
I kept running.
Let me guess here... she owns a car. It's obvious her parents bought it for her. She had chopsticks in her hair because she's working on school. She's 21. She looks Irish. She's embarrassed because she's obviously not prepared to meet someone, she's just getting something out of the car. She's smiling at me because she loves me and wants to have kids with me and grow old with me forever and ever.
It's cool. I kept running because she lives there. She's not going anywhere. It's good that I didn't stop. This is the relationship we'll have. I'll say hi again tomorrow, except I'll start a conversation.
"Hey. Are you a student?"
No, that's bad. Hard to relate because I'm not in school.
"Hi. I'm Michael. May I ask you what your name is, my dear?"
"I'm _____."
"It's a pleasure to meet you. I'd shake your hand but mine isn't in the most sanitary condition."
And then I'll say I live over a few doors away, I've been watching her through my window every night, I've tapped her phone line and read all her instant messages, all that jazz.
2:35 to 3:00- I wrote all the above.
3-8: Been working sparingly on JeanneTF. I'm really not sure what to do about my female friend leaving the group. I actually spent about 40 minutes on a new character to take her place that I'd control... and then I figured I'd call up on the two guys that haven't sent in their characters yet. Eugh. It's not looking good, I basically only have two other guys showing up for the game tomorrow, so I'm thinking about cancelling D&D forever. These guys are just too flaky.
8-9: Almost done preparing JeanneTF for animating, and then I can actually animate it.
9-12: I'll be finished with Jeanne by tonight. Also I totally excuse my slowness because I have a skype date tomorrow. She's a wonderful woman living some hundred miles away. Now I know for sure I have to cancel on my friends.
12-3: Not done with Jeanne yet. Let's see here.. I said C+J would be released next week, and that's coming up soon.
Later Today- Work on and finish CarmenHJ, JeanneTF, clean up CJSex2
Thursday- CJSex2 Finish
Friday- CJTF Finish
Saturday- Hobby Day. Need to get out at least once a week, so this will be it.
Sunday- Write out the story (plot details are finished and in my head), put it all in a nice little flash.
Monday- Release day
Tuesday- Actual release day.
3-5: Fucking Finished. And it's a good piece of work if I do say so myself... Hoohoo! Ahh hope I don't sleep too long.
Mass Effect 3 and Street Fighter X Tekken are now released.
I will not be playing these games.
12:30-2: Talked to some people online, did my "online" routine. My female dungeons and dragons player's mom has health issues, so she's not playing my game anymore. While the Dungeon Master (me) makes the backbone of the game, you could say she's the front bone. She was the party face, and the penis of the group. She is undeniably attractive to me, but a relationship would not work out for either of us. Apparently I just admitted that I'm attracted to penises.
Now we've got 3 players + 1 that doesn't show up, and all of them do not have a clue of what to do in level 12. Some of you guys are like "well it can't be that hard right?"... It's actually a lot harder than most of your computer rpgs. At least in CRPGs, you can click something and hope it'll work. In D&D, at level 12, you have to have a very firm grasp of what you're doing so that the game doesn't stall. Without her...it's gonna stall.
2-2:35- I ran. I met three people on today's run. Old asian lady sweeping. Mexican guy making a round dropping off flyers. Does he look suspicious? Yes, at first glance. I mean he's walking up to people's houses. He's got a little sack. What if he had a gun in there? He's 5'6", heavy set but not fat, 175 lbs, mustache, wearing brown shirt, gray pants, brown cap backwards, eyes are slightly farther than normal. He's carrying slightly oversized business cards. What if he's just using it to get close to your house and check how unguarded it is? Any dogs? And just what is a good time to rob you, ma'am?... Or he's just a man trying to get on with his landscaping business. People hate you when you're poor.
Last lap. Met a white girl! YES. MET. Our eyes met. I was the black stallion galloping against the cold wind to her homestead. She was entering her wagon, unable to hide the furtive smile while she viewed the toned muscles that made the trotting beats against the clear pavement.
"Afternoon", the Black Stallion neighed.
"Hello", she replied and smiled.
I kept running.
Let me guess here... she owns a car. It's obvious her parents bought it for her. She had chopsticks in her hair because she's working on school. She's 21. She looks Irish. She's embarrassed because she's obviously not prepared to meet someone, she's just getting something out of the car. She's smiling at me because she loves me and wants to have kids with me and grow old with me forever and ever.
It's cool. I kept running because she lives there. She's not going anywhere. It's good that I didn't stop. This is the relationship we'll have. I'll say hi again tomorrow, except I'll start a conversation.
"Hey. Are you a student?"
No, that's bad. Hard to relate because I'm not in school.
"Hi. I'm Michael. May I ask you what your name is, my dear?"
"I'm _____."
"It's a pleasure to meet you. I'd shake your hand but mine isn't in the most sanitary condition."
And then I'll say I live over a few doors away, I've been watching her through my window every night, I've tapped her phone line and read all her instant messages, all that jazz.
2:35 to 3:00- I wrote all the above.
3-8: Been working sparingly on JeanneTF. I'm really not sure what to do about my female friend leaving the group. I actually spent about 40 minutes on a new character to take her place that I'd control... and then I figured I'd call up on the two guys that haven't sent in their characters yet. Eugh. It's not looking good, I basically only have two other guys showing up for the game tomorrow, so I'm thinking about cancelling D&D forever. These guys are just too flaky.
8-9: Almost done preparing JeanneTF for animating, and then I can actually animate it.
9-12: I'll be finished with Jeanne by tonight. Also I totally excuse my slowness because I have a skype date tomorrow. She's a wonderful woman living some hundred miles away. Now I know for sure I have to cancel on my friends.
12-3: Not done with Jeanne yet. Let's see here.. I said C+J would be released next week, and that's coming up soon.
Later Today- Work on and finish CarmenHJ, JeanneTF, clean up CJSex2
Thursday- CJSex2 Finish
Friday- CJTF Finish
Saturday- Hobby Day. Need to get out at least once a week, so this will be it.
Sunday- Write out the story (plot details are finished and in my head), put it all in a nice little flash.
Monday- Release day
Tuesday- Actual release day.
3-5: Fucking Finished. And it's a good piece of work if I do say so myself... Hoohoo! Ahh hope I don't sleep too long.
Monday, March 5, 2012
March 5th's Progress
Good evening.
12:30-5 I woke up pretty late, but it doesn't really matter when I wake up. As long as there's still some sun up. I did my exercises, used that funky resistance band, ate, showered, took a nap. And that took 4 hours. Okay so there was probably one hour of looking on the internet. I can't help but be a wikifiend sometimes. Vietnamese cuisine. They cook batteries with the food to achieve a greenish color. These are the people that use banana leaves as a food storage method. They also eat dogs in Vietnam, but I'm cool with that. I wouldn't treat them with a higher amount of respect than a cow, but I guess they're awfully cute.
Maybe I should use Zombie Dogs instead of Zombie Babies in AD3. Hmm.... Well, the zombie babies have a little lore behind them. You see, the aliens control the humans and can make them reproduce to create cannon fodder AKA babies. Then again babies are not very threatening, even if it was an alien mind controlled baby. Maybe it's better off as dogs. Can't have em both in, because they kind of mechanically serve the same purpose.
5-6: Working on a boobie animation.
6-8: Slacking off here and there. I'd love to get Street Fighter X Tekken... or Mass Effect. However, I will not get either because I have a lot of work to do and do not have the money. FML.
8-3: Didn't work much today apart from animating Jeanne. Talked to a girl. Very meh. Helped my friend out with his D&D character. The end!
12:30-5 I woke up pretty late, but it doesn't really matter when I wake up. As long as there's still some sun up. I did my exercises, used that funky resistance band, ate, showered, took a nap. And that took 4 hours. Okay so there was probably one hour of looking on the internet. I can't help but be a wikifiend sometimes. Vietnamese cuisine. They cook batteries with the food to achieve a greenish color. These are the people that use banana leaves as a food storage method. They also eat dogs in Vietnam, but I'm cool with that. I wouldn't treat them with a higher amount of respect than a cow, but I guess they're awfully cute.
Maybe I should use Zombie Dogs instead of Zombie Babies in AD3. Hmm.... Well, the zombie babies have a little lore behind them. You see, the aliens control the humans and can make them reproduce to create cannon fodder AKA babies. Then again babies are not very threatening, even if it was an alien mind controlled baby. Maybe it's better off as dogs. Can't have em both in, because they kind of mechanically serve the same purpose.
5-6: Working on a boobie animation.
6-8: Slacking off here and there. I'd love to get Street Fighter X Tekken... or Mass Effect. However, I will not get either because I have a lot of work to do and do not have the money. FML.
8-3: Didn't work much today apart from animating Jeanne. Talked to a girl. Very meh. Helped my friend out with his D&D character. The end!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Is this good?
Honestly I don't really like it. I think I'm just going to finish it without any bells and whistles (like all those extras) and just move on to the next drawing.
I appreciate you guys coming out to me and helping me out with procuring some more actresses. It's going to have to wait though, sorry. Right now I've got this huge bill that was dropped into my lap... My ex took the phone so not only did I have to pay for the new month's bill, but paying for the cancellation fee of the contract turns out to be quite a lot of money. So that's me being honest, I'm red in the money right now. Oh yeah, my tire flatted out on a date I had recently as well. I do have a spare, but I'll need to replace that...(sigh) soon...
March 4th's Progress
Good morning.
11-12: Had a restless sleep. Cannot find the whites I put into the laundry. Checked the internet and made some food. I need to prepare for my dungeons and dragons campaign. I'm going to read up on this neverwinter campaign setting for awhile. After 5 hours, I should be ready to play on Wednesday.
I want to work hard for this year. Being single is very different for me. I don't miss her, but I do miss being in a relationship. I don't want her back, but she's not the enemy. I've been trying to date other women, but while I've had quite a few encounters, all of them are somewhat flawed and below my expectations. No I do not require G-Cup, lol. Then again, I think that I myself am below my own expectations. I never get out. I'm not active enough. I want to pick up a damn sport. Inline Hockey, I'm thinking won't be too expensive. So I've been jogging for three weeks. Next year though, I'll have money to do things and work on my self image. This year though, I need to concentrate.
Dungeons and Dragons is a way to keep myself sane. Every week my friends will come over and play. We've skipped many levels, jumping from 1, 7, and now this session will be a 12th level adventure, haha. D&D brings out the worst in us. Everyone's got different goals. I've got one guy that cannot stay off his android. What's he doing there? Well, he's our fifth. Then I've got about 2 players that don't know how to play their characters, so when it's their turn... let's just say the game would be going a lot faster if I was playing their characters while I'm dming. So what's a DM to do? WELL, I can't really MAKE them read their character sheet. If they want to actually do it before the game starts, they would. (sigh). Okay, I'm going to tell them to turn in their new character sheets by Tuesday, and they all have to do it themselves. So there.
12-5: I read up a lot on Neverwinter. I've played the PC games but I really still don't know what Neverwinter is, especially not 4E Neverwinter. I'm asking a lot of my players to really sit down and create their characters, so in return I wanted to be a very responsible dungeon master. I'll need a few more hours to prepare because I haven't really started preparing (just read material), but that can wait until later.
I exercised and ran 5 times around the block without stopping. I figure I want to become an MMA kickboxer, but lets just wait until I'm at peak physical. I did pushups, situps, and weird exercises with this arm band that I have. Other then that, I don't have any exercise equipment, and I am not going to the gym, so this stuff will just have to do for a year.
Plopped out of the shower, made some food and will get to work after lunch.
6-8: Been working on and off. I've decided to sort of "scrap" a picture I'm working on because I... just don't like it. I'm going to color it and include it into the game, but I'm not going to work on it much. Saw all of "Go". I watched it when I was a kid and I remember Jay Mohr saying "It's a Miata!!". Go is a Pulp Fiction movie. It's all good but it's not as memorable as Pulp Fiction. That Sarah Polley in the film is hooot though. Yes, hoot.
8-9: Colored up CarmenHJ. Gonna go back to JeanneTF now. If everyone gets really mad at me, I'll put some animation into CarmenHJ, haha.
9-10: I ate. Didn't work more than 5 minutes this hour. Started to watch Taxi Driver and switching off between that and reading Neverwinter.
10-11: Read some more "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?", and then got back to work on AD2. I should speed things up on this work though. I'm feeling that I've progressed myself as a person very much so today, but as for the game, err well... can't have time for everything.
11-12: Watching Taxi Driver. Feel like sociopath. You're only as healthy as you feel. Otherwise happily working away on Jeanne's arm.
12-2: Just worked more on Jeanne. I'll work another hour and go to bed. I'm watching eXistenZ. Towards the end of the night I'm usually better at working because I feel bad that I haven't worked enough. So that's it then. A year like this. That's what I want. I use to love hearing these keys jingle and think that she was coming home. Then I could drop whatever I was doing and load up something to watch and make something to eat. There's nothing stopping me now. No keys.
I'm just in my corner of the Earth. My little workstation. I know a girl, works at a Kellogg's. She doesn't want to tell me what she actually does, because it's really boring. I'd imagine she'd be a professional Lucy Ricardo that doesn't eat the chocolate or fling it around. Instead she just presses the green button every five seconds. Oh wait, there's a piece of metal shrapnel in the cereal, press the red button. Wow highlight of the day, I pressed the red button.
So at least I sit here and I do what I love to do. Lots of people out there don't even know what they love to do. Doesn't have to be a career. There's a guy who makes props for fun... http://kotaku.com/5890417/the-very-best-in-cosplay-volpin-props/gallery/1 "Crazy guy. How could you just sit there and make stupid toys that weren't designed to even work in real life?", a normal person would say. But that's passion for you, and it's crazy that so many people out there have no idea what that means.
There's this one girl, she had her interests listed as "Laughing, Life". What a retarded woman. Wow, Life. "Nahhh I don't think we have common interests, I mean I tried life and it's OK, nothing to write home about." (nods) Yep, I'm going on dating sites. That's a good place to stop and get back to work.
2-4:
To sum up today, I exercised, I read D&D, I read some of my Android Book, and I watched three movies while I made two pieces (Go, eXistenZ, Taxi Driver), barely talked to anyone online. Good day's work. Wish I took the time to draw some real female nudes, I could use the practice.
11-12: Had a restless sleep. Cannot find the whites I put into the laundry. Checked the internet and made some food. I need to prepare for my dungeons and dragons campaign. I'm going to read up on this neverwinter campaign setting for awhile. After 5 hours, I should be ready to play on Wednesday.
I want to work hard for this year. Being single is very different for me. I don't miss her, but I do miss being in a relationship. I don't want her back, but she's not the enemy. I've been trying to date other women, but while I've had quite a few encounters, all of them are somewhat flawed and below my expectations. No I do not require G-Cup, lol. Then again, I think that I myself am below my own expectations. I never get out. I'm not active enough. I want to pick up a damn sport. Inline Hockey, I'm thinking won't be too expensive. So I've been jogging for three weeks. Next year though, I'll have money to do things and work on my self image. This year though, I need to concentrate.
Dungeons and Dragons is a way to keep myself sane. Every week my friends will come over and play. We've skipped many levels, jumping from 1, 7, and now this session will be a 12th level adventure, haha. D&D brings out the worst in us. Everyone's got different goals. I've got one guy that cannot stay off his android. What's he doing there? Well, he's our fifth. Then I've got about 2 players that don't know how to play their characters, so when it's their turn... let's just say the game would be going a lot faster if I was playing their characters while I'm dming. So what's a DM to do? WELL, I can't really MAKE them read their character sheet. If they want to actually do it before the game starts, they would. (sigh). Okay, I'm going to tell them to turn in their new character sheets by Tuesday, and they all have to do it themselves. So there.
12-5: I read up a lot on Neverwinter. I've played the PC games but I really still don't know what Neverwinter is, especially not 4E Neverwinter. I'm asking a lot of my players to really sit down and create their characters, so in return I wanted to be a very responsible dungeon master. I'll need a few more hours to prepare because I haven't really started preparing (just read material), but that can wait until later.
I exercised and ran 5 times around the block without stopping. I figure I want to become an MMA kickboxer, but lets just wait until I'm at peak physical. I did pushups, situps, and weird exercises with this arm band that I have. Other then that, I don't have any exercise equipment, and I am not going to the gym, so this stuff will just have to do for a year.
Plopped out of the shower, made some food and will get to work after lunch.
6-8: Been working on and off. I've decided to sort of "scrap" a picture I'm working on because I... just don't like it. I'm going to color it and include it into the game, but I'm not going to work on it much. Saw all of "Go". I watched it when I was a kid and I remember Jay Mohr saying "It's a Miata!!". Go is a Pulp Fiction movie. It's all good but it's not as memorable as Pulp Fiction. That Sarah Polley in the film is hooot though. Yes, hoot.
8-9: Colored up CarmenHJ. Gonna go back to JeanneTF now. If everyone gets really mad at me, I'll put some animation into CarmenHJ, haha.
9-10: I ate. Didn't work more than 5 minutes this hour. Started to watch Taxi Driver and switching off between that and reading Neverwinter.
10-11: Read some more "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?", and then got back to work on AD2. I should speed things up on this work though. I'm feeling that I've progressed myself as a person very much so today, but as for the game, err well... can't have time for everything.
11-12: Watching Taxi Driver. Feel like sociopath. You're only as healthy as you feel. Otherwise happily working away on Jeanne's arm.
12-2: Just worked more on Jeanne. I'll work another hour and go to bed. I'm watching eXistenZ. Towards the end of the night I'm usually better at working because I feel bad that I haven't worked enough. So that's it then. A year like this. That's what I want. I use to love hearing these keys jingle and think that she was coming home. Then I could drop whatever I was doing and load up something to watch and make something to eat. There's nothing stopping me now. No keys.
I'm just in my corner of the Earth. My little workstation. I know a girl, works at a Kellogg's. She doesn't want to tell me what she actually does, because it's really boring. I'd imagine she'd be a professional Lucy Ricardo that doesn't eat the chocolate or fling it around. Instead she just presses the green button every five seconds. Oh wait, there's a piece of metal shrapnel in the cereal, press the red button. Wow highlight of the day, I pressed the red button.
So at least I sit here and I do what I love to do. Lots of people out there don't even know what they love to do. Doesn't have to be a career. There's a guy who makes props for fun... http://kotaku.com/5890417/the-very-best-in-cosplay-volpin-props/gallery/1 "Crazy guy. How could you just sit there and make stupid toys that weren't designed to even work in real life?", a normal person would say. But that's passion for you, and it's crazy that so many people out there have no idea what that means.
There's this one girl, she had her interests listed as "Laughing, Life". What a retarded woman. Wow, Life. "Nahhh I don't think we have common interests, I mean I tried life and it's OK, nothing to write home about." (nods) Yep, I'm going on dating sites. That's a good place to stop and get back to work.
2-4:
To sum up today, I exercised, I read D&D, I read some of my Android Book, and I watched three movies while I made two pieces (Go, eXistenZ, Taxi Driver), barely talked to anyone online. Good day's work. Wish I took the time to draw some real female nudes, I could use the practice.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Are Aching Dreamers racists?
Needs blacks 8.87%
Needs Hispanics 8.98%
Needs Asians 13.34%
Needs weird mixed kinds 6.58%
Needs whites 7.59%
Needs Elves 18.32%
Needs blue alien women 6.50%
Needs catgirls 12.47%
Needs....men.... 1.96%
Needs underage girls 8.12%
Needs more of something I can't even describe! 7.28%
18 Percent for Elves... and there are no elves in 2. Sorry, I just hate elf ears.
Wow you guys like your lolicon.
Needs Hispanics 8.98%
Needs Asians 13.34%
Needs weird mixed kinds 6.58%
Needs whites 7.59%
Needs Elves 18.32%
Needs blue alien women 6.50%
Needs catgirls 12.47%
Needs....men.... 1.96%
Needs underage girls 8.12%
Needs more of something I can't even describe! 7.28%
18 Percent for Elves... and there are no elves in 2. Sorry, I just hate elf ears.
Wow you guys like your lolicon.
March 3rd Progress.
I'll be updating this post every hour with what I'm doing.
11-12: Woke up. Checked internets. Made big post below this one. Put colors into wash. Dad threw something into my wash, he bought an army styled jacket with a ranking patch on it. Looks like Sergeant class. He intends to wear it without ever having served his country, and I told him that would be highly offensive, especially if someone gave him undue respect.
12-1: Ran about 35 minutes. Thought about skip-traveling- The ship uses its fuel to attain near light speed (this takes about a year). It then temporarily exceeding light speed by exploding the ship and re-materializing the ship with strong gravity pull (???), so at times it would have near zero mass when expanded, and when contracted it would go OVER contraction and into negative mass, controlled by an intentional yo-yo effect to stop the ship from over skipping. Basically it looks like this=
Ship= <@>
Distance traveled= ....
<@>...(travels to near light speed, and then explodes itself) <-----@-----> (at this time the ship is going basically at light speed since it has almost no mass)....<-@-> (ship contracts due to gravity field).... >---@---< (ship inverts itself into negative mass LOL?).............................................
...........................................................................
.........................................................(ship re-contracts and turns back into an exploding ship, but this time it explodes...less. Repeat until ship has fully formed and is at destination)
1-2: Took a shower. Got my youtube video account to do over 15 minutes of video... going to start uploading videos of me reading later. Now eating Mom's excellent cooking while watching Brazil, a science fiction movie.
2-3: Could not finish Mom's horrible cooking. Worked and finished CarmenJeanneA1, A2, and P1.
3-4: Read Chapter 1 of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and uploaded it here. For fun. CarmenJeanneP1 and P2 finished.
4-5: Aside from fixing a technical problem with the animation, basically sat around doing nothing, heh.
5-6: Finished CJ series 1. Out of cola. Will need to resupply tonight.
6-7: Errands.
7-8: Cleaning up JeanneTF. Considering whether to use or throwout this Carmen HJ pic I drew...I'll touch it up and show you guys later.
8-9: Took a break, got some groceries.
9-10: Cleaning up JeanneTF. Finished Brazil. Terrific movie that has almost nothing to do with Brazil. Dystopian Police State. Everyone fears it, but we all LOVE it. Humanity loves being the victim in these movies. Now moving onto the next Gilliam film, 12 Monkeys.
10-11: 12 Monkeys is really good. Cleaning up is fun, it's either clean or it's not clean. I get to watch movies, heh.
11-12: How would you know if aliens are coming to your fort? You'd have security cameras. Nah. Too easy. If I was an alien, I'd destroy the security camera. You'd see me, but you wouldn't know exactly who was behind me. Sorry, you're going to have to be more creative about that, Mr. Human.
Hmm. How about a makeshift doppler radar? Today's technology allows us to shoot infrared waves that nightvision goggles can pick up. If the ISS Electric pistol comes with an emitter, then creating a device that reads these emitted waves can be useful. The problem is metallic walls. Since our game takes place in tight corridors, we'd need to bounce this signal off of metallic mirrors. It would be a lot harder to detect a stick of metal in the wall than a camera. (then again cameras are getting small.....) Okay. So basically I'm trying to recreate the Aliens Motion tracker, but honestly there's no reason to because you could simply install little webcams everywhere before the aliens came. How does the Aliens Motion Tracker work? It just does. Nevermind that the aliens are behind pure metal, the motion tracker ignores such trivial ideas like the laws of physics.
12-1: Finished 12 Monkeys. Great movie. I don't feel like I can talk much about it without spoiling it, heh. Finished cleaning up Jeanne and moving to CarmenHJ. CarmenHJ will take a long time.
1-2: Continuing on CarmenHJ. Having a lot of difficulty with it. Just the hair. I ended up flipping her hair to make it work (mirroring the image), which is just plain weird. Anyway right now I'm watching Invasion of the Body Snatchers. It's got this guy in it.
So yeah he's from THIS movie. What a joy it is to watch great classics for the first time.
2-2:44:
I switched to Advancer Tina. It's got a lot of science fiction in it. From what I can tell halfway through, "Advancing" is a fictional term about frontiering planets and getting geological data on the surface. Apparently they cannot send probes to the surface to gather data. It HAS to be a manned exploration, even though we have been sending probes to Venus. Oh well. It's a pretty neat hentai sci-fi, even if it's really outdated.
Now I want to go to sleep. That pic is basically all the work I did today, but mostly I was animating and I don't bother to show that to you guys. Good night.
11-12: Woke up. Checked internets. Made big post below this one. Put colors into wash. Dad threw something into my wash, he bought an army styled jacket with a ranking patch on it. Looks like Sergeant class. He intends to wear it without ever having served his country, and I told him that would be highly offensive, especially if someone gave him undue respect.
12-1: Ran about 35 minutes. Thought about skip-traveling- The ship uses its fuel to attain near light speed (this takes about a year). It then temporarily exceeding light speed by exploding the ship and re-materializing the ship with strong gravity pull (???), so at times it would have near zero mass when expanded, and when contracted it would go OVER contraction and into negative mass, controlled by an intentional yo-yo effect to stop the ship from over skipping. Basically it looks like this=
Ship= <@>
Distance traveled= ....
<@>...(travels to near light speed, and then explodes itself) <-----@-----> (at this time the ship is going basically at light speed since it has almost no mass)....<-@-> (ship contracts due to gravity field).... >---@---< (ship inverts itself into negative mass LOL?).............................................
...........................................................................
.........................................................(ship re-contracts and turns back into an exploding ship, but this time it explodes...less. Repeat until ship has fully formed and is at destination)
1-2: Took a shower. Got my youtube video account to do over 15 minutes of video... going to start uploading videos of me reading later. Now eating Mom's excellent cooking while watching Brazil, a science fiction movie.
2-3: Could not finish Mom's horrible cooking. Worked and finished CarmenJeanneA1, A2, and P1.
3-4: Read Chapter 1 of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and uploaded it here. For fun. CarmenJeanneP1 and P2 finished.
4-5: Aside from fixing a technical problem with the animation, basically sat around doing nothing, heh.
5-6: Finished CJ series 1. Out of cola. Will need to resupply tonight.
6-7: Errands.
7-8: Cleaning up JeanneTF. Considering whether to use or throwout this Carmen HJ pic I drew...I'll touch it up and show you guys later.
8-9: Took a break, got some groceries.
9-10: Cleaning up JeanneTF. Finished Brazil. Terrific movie that has almost nothing to do with Brazil. Dystopian Police State. Everyone fears it, but we all LOVE it. Humanity loves being the victim in these movies. Now moving onto the next Gilliam film, 12 Monkeys.
10-11: 12 Monkeys is really good. Cleaning up is fun, it's either clean or it's not clean. I get to watch movies, heh.
11-12: How would you know if aliens are coming to your fort? You'd have security cameras. Nah. Too easy. If I was an alien, I'd destroy the security camera. You'd see me, but you wouldn't know exactly who was behind me. Sorry, you're going to have to be more creative about that, Mr. Human.
Hmm. How about a makeshift doppler radar? Today's technology allows us to shoot infrared waves that nightvision goggles can pick up. If the ISS Electric pistol comes with an emitter, then creating a device that reads these emitted waves can be useful. The problem is metallic walls. Since our game takes place in tight corridors, we'd need to bounce this signal off of metallic mirrors. It would be a lot harder to detect a stick of metal in the wall than a camera. (then again cameras are getting small.....) Okay. So basically I'm trying to recreate the Aliens Motion tracker, but honestly there's no reason to because you could simply install little webcams everywhere before the aliens came. How does the Aliens Motion Tracker work? It just does. Nevermind that the aliens are behind pure metal, the motion tracker ignores such trivial ideas like the laws of physics.
12-1: Finished 12 Monkeys. Great movie. I don't feel like I can talk much about it without spoiling it, heh. Finished cleaning up Jeanne and moving to CarmenHJ. CarmenHJ will take a long time.
1-2: Continuing on CarmenHJ. Having a lot of difficulty with it. Just the hair. I ended up flipping her hair to make it work (mirroring the image), which is just plain weird. Anyway right now I'm watching Invasion of the Body Snatchers. It's got this guy in it.
So yeah he's from THIS movie. What a joy it is to watch great classics for the first time.
2-2:44:
I switched to Advancer Tina. It's got a lot of science fiction in it. From what I can tell halfway through, "Advancing" is a fictional term about frontiering planets and getting geological data on the surface. Apparently they cannot send probes to the surface to gather data. It HAS to be a manned exploration, even though we have been sending probes to Venus. Oh well. It's a pretty neat hentai sci-fi, even if it's really outdated.
Now I want to go to sleep. That pic is basically all the work I did today, but mostly I was animating and I don't bother to show that to you guys. Good night.
Carmen and Jeanne- Next Week!
Yep, I'll be working hard to deliver this to you by next week.
Reduced voice acting is fine. Just make it like in the early Bioware games when only the characters' important scenes are voiced. Namely, when they are first introduced, during the important plot points, whenever there is a flirty/sexy/seductive line, and most importantly, during the fuck scenes.
-Anonymous
The most important part is the most difficult part. The sex scenes are pretty much when real women drop out of the project. It's too demanding. The MAIN problem with the voice acting was that they'd finish all the main quests, and then when the time came to sex act, they'd disappear.
Now I want YOUR thoughts about this.
What would you rather have?
A) A fully voiced game with a wide selection in voice acting but NO sex voice acting
B) A not so fully voiced game with limited selection in voice acting but sex scenes included
C) Just 20 minutes of dialogue from each actress, with 4 minutes of that being sex dialogue.
It's time to come out with what the hell went wrong AD2's voices. I started taking auditions for AD2 when AD2 was basically done. I think this was basically one or two months before the game was released. The reason for this is that I wanted to time the auditions as best as possible- The game was almost finished and VERY playable so that the actresses would have full confidence I would finish.
Sienna's and Beatrice's are saved on my harddrive. That's all I could secure. Jessica/Jeanne's VA's work was never finished, and never will be because.... well she broke up with me (shrug). While I did get a few to sign up, I could never really secure a Talia (and to be honest her lines are really hard to deliver). I secured a Carmen but DNF.
For AD3 I'd rather go with A. I haven't reached a final decision about it, but IMO the decision should be the ones that nets the most actresses.
Reduced voice acting is fine. Just make it like in the early Bioware games when only the characters' important scenes are voiced. Namely, when they are first introduced, during the important plot points, whenever there is a flirty/sexy/seductive line, and most importantly, during the fuck scenes.
-Anonymous
The most important part is the most difficult part. The sex scenes are pretty much when real women drop out of the project. It's too demanding. The MAIN problem with the voice acting was that they'd finish all the main quests, and then when the time came to sex act, they'd disappear.
Now I want YOUR thoughts about this.
What would you rather have?
A) A fully voiced game with a wide selection in voice acting but NO sex voice acting
B) A not so fully voiced game with limited selection in voice acting but sex scenes included
C) Just 20 minutes of dialogue from each actress, with 4 minutes of that being sex dialogue.
It's time to come out with what the hell went wrong AD2's voices. I started taking auditions for AD2 when AD2 was basically done. I think this was basically one or two months before the game was released. The reason for this is that I wanted to time the auditions as best as possible- The game was almost finished and VERY playable so that the actresses would have full confidence I would finish.
Sienna's and Beatrice's are saved on my harddrive. That's all I could secure. Jessica/Jeanne's VA's work was never finished, and never will be because.... well she broke up with me (shrug). While I did get a few to sign up, I could never really secure a Talia (and to be honest her lines are really hard to deliver). I secured a Carmen but DNF.
For AD3 I'd rather go with A. I haven't reached a final decision about it, but IMO the decision should be the ones that nets the most actresses.
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