March 8th's Progress

12:30 I wake up depressed. You can't escape your dreams. They stick you in the chair and peel back your eyelids and make you watch these things called dreams. I see her in the dream. I ask What If? What if I did it like this? How could I have prolonged a broken relationship?

Denial. I'm against my own subconscious, fighting to be independent. It's almost two months now, and I've been saying all along that I'm past it. I try to justify it because I say that while I miss a relationship, I don't miss her. Is that denial?

No exercise today. It's straight to work. I was working quite well yesterday, but I got sidetracked working on the wrong game.

Here's a good hentai game if I ever saw one:
http://kotaku.com/5891692/move-carefully-or-get-caught-in-the-act
And no it's not actually a hentai game. BUT IF IT WAS.

6PM- In art, essentialism is the idea that each medium has its own particular strengths and weaknesses, contingent on its mode of communication. A chase scene, for example, may be appropriate for motion pictures, but poorly realized in poetry, because the essential components of the poetic medium are ill suited to convey the information of a chase scene.
What I find important here is that both porn and video games are emerging as art forms.

Is porn art?
Is hentai art?
Why does it fucking matter?

Let me get this one out of the way first. Porn and Hentai can be art as long as they provide something that falls outside our need to have sex. An apple is not art when you are eating it, but as soon as you frame it, it's art because even simply looking at an apple behind an art frame has meaning. When you look at porn, you are not looking at it through an art frame. You are simply digesting it. Hentai to me, is the same way. There is no difference between two pornstars banging it out and me drawing two pornstars banging it out. If I created it with the intent of simply digesting it, it is no longer art. This extends to computer games as well. Clicking things to make them die can be defined as a secondary, basic need. The need to cleanse the area of predators and protect our families. The moment you add commentary, you have art. "I need to eat pizza. I need to kill virtual things. But wait, I need to introspect about killing things now."

Aching Dreams is a pornographic computer game. It sets itself apart from other porn games seen on newgrounds by not feeding the player his porn instantaneously. Why does it feel better when it's rewarded? Is it because the game is rooted into courting women, as it is a "dating simulation"? What if the journey was different? What if we had to play Tetris in order to have sex? That's not as engaging as playing Tetris AGAINST these women, or fighting alongside them against aliens.

Yet there is a deeply rooted urge within me- the need to have a pornographic computer game accepted on a mainstream level. Realistically I know that this goal will probably never be fulfilled with the taboos that surround pornography.

Back to the issue. What is the point of having an ISS Electric Pistol in AD3? Is it more akin to playing Tetris to win a woman, and not actually courting the woman? Should pornographic computer games ONLY be about courting and rewarding successful courting with sex?

I have my answer. Providing a believable world is required in order to create believable fictional characters to fall in love with. An ISS Electric Pistol is ESSENTIAL in order to court a woman, in this case. Type "naked woman" in google images. That woman is not believable. You do not know who she is. Your penis might react, but your brain disagrees. She is unattainable to you. Jeanne the Detective might be an imaginary character, but she is imaginably attainable at least.

Imagine a WOW player playing in his mom's basement. I present him with two women to have sex with. Behind Door #1, we have a female golf player. She is the twin sister of the girl behind door #2, a female WOW player. Weight jokes aside, the boy chooses #2 because he imagines what he can relate to with her. He imaginarily courts her within his mind. "What class does she play? How much DPS does she deal?" Why is he more attracted to this woman he can relate to? Then behind door #3, I give him a female warrior. He'd choose #3, because....why?! Because she'd smack him across the face with the butt of her sword and he'd ENJOY that?! He wants #3 because she is part of an imaginary world where a character much more fantastic than life can exist.

I am writing too much.