Happy 3 Months, Ashley

Happy three months, Ashley. It's been three months of loneliness for me... But I realize that it's also been a good three months for you and your new boyfriend. Discovering love in a relationship is a beautiful thing...

Consider the song an anniversary gift. It's got Layne from Alice in Chains, so I know you'd like it.

I drink tea and water now. I wash and fold my own damn clothes, but it's mostly just underwear. I'm running 6 days a week. Sometimes I imagine you running alongside me, but I don't think you'd be very much ahead of me anymore like you use to be. Reading a few of your books too, and I bought my own. I'm not playing video games much anymore. While I love games, they've taught me enough. I can't continue to grow if I play them. I'd like to think I'm working hard and I'm over us... but my dreams of you continue to haunt me.

Robert's kid is walking. I still run D&D. David hasn't changed. I don't talk to Andrew or Minh much anymore. Lance left. We got a new white guy. He's really nice and I celebrated my birthday with him last month. Nhan and I hate each other, but in a weird way that we're still friends. Trevor and I are good friends too.

Remember that guy Doug, that we use to hate? Well, he's a good friend of mine now. He's an uber otaku, but you can't blame the guy... He's the nicest person I know. We just...never gave him a chance. That's one way I've changed. I stopped looking inwards and started to really talk to people to understand them. I make it a policy to say "good afternoon" to someone if I see them twice in a jog. Most people don't respond...but some do.

I don't really care if you're reading this or not, because it's impossible for the Ashley I once knew to be reading this. She's changed. But so have I. We're growing farther apart.

I've stopped dating around. I use to do it to try to fill the void in my heart, but I'd like to say that the void is growing smaller. Or maybe I'm just trying to run from the fact that void's even there. As long as I hold onto this feeling that we'd be together again one day... the void won't go away.

Love and best regards,
Michael

P.S. Fuck.